Roll to Dodge II: Kyle Strikes Back

[kyle]

Tired of the inactiveness here. I'm hijacking this game. Who's playing?

The rules are simple:
1. Post an action.
2. Your result will be determined by the roll of a die.
Any action that triggers a third-party attack on the player immediately grants a free defense roll.

The basic breakdown is as follows:

1 : Unbelievably total failure. Action WILL backfire.
2-4 : Failure, with penalty
5-7 : Marginal failure with possible penalty
8-10 : Failure, no penalty
11-13 : Straightforward success
14-16 : Success, with possible bonus
17-19 : Success, with circumstantial bonus
20 : MAXIMUM POWER. Guaranteed success, with added bonus.

Note that attempting an action requiring an intermediate action (i.e. starting a car with no keys) automatically fails. Also note that the same action cannot be taken twice in a row. Take heed that your GM is unstable, and may tweak the playing field independent of player actions. Almost anything goes, but be warned that metagaming will anger the D1C3 G0D, who may unleash the wrath of Dr. Hax upon you.

Each player may submit one action per turn. A turn lasts at most one day and at least until every active player has submitted an action. The game is played in rounds that last until one player remains alive.



Soup - 90 HP
Items
lollipop (x1)

MilkandCookies - 95 HP
Items
first aid kit (x1)
Rock Band 3 Pro Mustang (x1)
Rock Band 3 P-Bass (x1)
Xbox 360 with Kinect (x1)

JR48fan - 65HP
Items

Gary - 90 HP
Items

[Soup567]

Shouldn't it be Kyle strikes back?

[kyle]

Sure.

[Soup567]

I wanna play.




I WANNA BE SEDATED!

[kyle]

OK, round 1 ends at 9:00 tonight.

[Soup567]

KEYBOARD CAT POWAH!!!

[kyle]

Alright

Soup: I WANNA BE SEDATED!

9! Keyboard cat powah adds 2 for 11!

You go to the doctor who sedates you. Good for you. It accomplished nothing, but you woke up very drowsy. The doctor gives you a lollipop for good doctor behavior.




Milk: kick a shovel

20!

You powerfully kick the shovel as hard as you can. It flys up out of the dirt and sails towards a drowsy Soup. Soup rolls to dodge and rolls 2! The shovel smacks into him full force, and he falls over, losing 10 HP. Soup now has 90 HP. When he falls a first aid kit falls out of his pocket. He calls for Milk to come help him, but Milk steals his first aid kit and runs.

[Soup567]

KEYBOARD CAT REVENGE!!!

[JR48fan]

I'll play.

Assassinate Justin Bieber.

[Yolomeister G-izzle]

This is every single thing I will do for every phase of the game forever:


Talk to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct work-flow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micro-manage (like a boss)
Promote synergy (like a boss)

Hit on Deborah (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)

Harassment Lawsuit (like a boss)
No Promotion (like a boss)
5th of vodka (like a boss)
Shit on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man, I can't fucking do it, shit!

Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Deborah's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)

Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
Fuck his brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the Sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

[Soup567]

+1 for Gary.

[kyle]

Soup: KEYBOARD CAT REVENGE!!
14!
You take a running start towards milkandCookies, who is watering his Garden.
ROLL TO DODGE! 10!
Soup kicks him hard in the balls, and milk doubles over in pain. Soup then runs away.
MilkandCookies loses 5 HP.

JR48fan: Assassinate Justin Bieber.
1!
You go to a Bieber concert with a fully loaded pistol in your pocket. You sit down, and are swarmed by teenage girls who see the gun in your pocket. They take the gun, and throw it in the trash. The girls start moshing for justin Bieber, and your exit is blocked. You are forced to suffer a Justin Bieber concert for the next hour and a half. Your ears are bleeding, and you fall over on the floor, where many girls step on you. A water bottle falls on your face, and you black out. The last ting you remember is being rushed to the hospital. The nurse in the ambulance, thinking you were at the justin bieber conert because you liked him gives you some headphones that are playing Baby, baby, baby, oh.
You have lost 35 HP.

MilkandCookies: Hunt for Deals Online.
16!
You go online at midnight, and get a rock band 3 pro mustang with a free P-Bass, and an Xbox 360 with Kinect on the cheap. Lucky You!

Gary: Talk to Corporate. (like a boss)
2!
You call the corporate offices, needing to talk with them about something important. you can't get a hold of them, so you cuss out the secretary. She tells the corporate leader. He comes to your office and punches you in the face.
(-10 HP)

[Soup567]

Jr got pwned by beaver. Keyboard Cat pwned Milk.

JIZZ ON MEGAN FOX'S FACE!

[Yolomeister G-izzle]

bump...

[kyle]

Sorry guys. i'm really having trouble updating lately because of my family situation. i will probably update this tomorrow.